There’s all kinds of perverse writing advice out there – all manner of prompts for the unimaginative, catalysts for the uninspired. I’m of the opinion that if you need external stimuli to get your pen running across the page, writing’s probably not for you.
This time of year is particularly sodden with bogus guidance. Everyone seems driven to create screeds of inexecrable drivel as the nights draw in and as the plastic skeletons are hung outside the hardware stores, limp and unimaginative.
I treat these suggested stimuli with the contempt they deserve.
Firstly, no candles, black or otherwise. There’s good reason we transitioned to gas and then electric lighting – consistency of illumination, limited need for replacement, and no requirement to scrape up the puddles of wax that have pooled on the wood of one’s writer’s desk.
No organ music, either. One shouldn’t need to feel as though one is in Dracula’s castle to write something creepy. A writer should be able to create his or her own crescendos and decrescendos, without some brain-rattling woodwind instrument blaring in their ears. Also, those bloody YouTube ads which pop up every ten minutes don’t half take one out of one’s rhythm.
Finally – and I really can’t stress this enough – a writer shouldn’t need a field trip to generate ideas. Any idiot who suggests a visit to a graveyard or similar should be immediately shunned; even it it’s not raining, the yew needles collect in the spine of one’s notepad – a bloody nightmare.
That’s not to say that even the most self-sufficient of writers don’t need inspiration from time to time. I find smell the most provocative of the senses. The scent of iron as my pen nib shudders against the page, spattering ruby liquid against the lined paper…bliss. One must remember to keep writing, however – the blood can coagulate in a surprisingly short amount of time, and refilling it can be a fiddly business, especially when the donor will insist on twitching and moaning.
Enjoyed this? Sign up to my blog below. Recent short stories include ‘Freezer Discipline‘ and ‘Tagged‘. Links to my published work can be found here.
Matthew J. Richardson’s fiction has appeared in publications including Golddust Magazine, Flashback Fiction, Close to the Bone, Shooter, and Idle Ink. His work often explores psychological tension, place, and the quiet edges of human behaviour. He lives in Scotland and holds a Professional Doctorate in Education.
Discover more from Matthew Richardson
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Love this “refilling it can be a fiddly business”
Thanks Christopher.
“The scent of iron as my pen nib shudders against the page, spattering ruby liquid against the lined paper…bliss. “
Such is an excellent Richardsonian twist. I knew it was coming, but this one was especially good. Well done, Matthew.
Thanks David. Enjoyed writing this one.
this is terrific advice, Matthew, entertainingly delivered ; I like smell being ‘the most provocative of the senses’ though it seems the most rarely utilized —
Thanks John. I always think that smell lifts a piece.
it’s certainly one sense I rarely use; thanks for this powetful perspective —
I can’t stop laughing… that was bloody brilliant. That was more than fab. Well done, Matthew.
Thanks Chris. Enjoyed writing this one.
An excellent short, Matthew, with a lovely twist and subtle change of writing style.
And yes, you’re correct, working in a small, dark attic, encrusted in cobwebs and with only one candle does make disposing of the bodies tricky.
Just really awkward disposal, Chris!
funny you should write this… just last night I was talking to another blogger about the business of writing fiction.
I remembered, in the course of the conversation, my first idea for a story and how protective I was of the idea, the ‘hook’ to the whole thing. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize it wasn’t about having an idea (or inspiration) hell, those are everywhere you look, it’s about execution.
Funny how simple things can be (and how complicated we can make them)…
I will say that there is something to be said about ‘mining one’s emotional history’ (touching the past ever so lightly) that I find useful.
I agree – in most cases I think it’s perspiration rather than inspiration. I also love the idea of ‘touching the past ever so lightly’ – always a good source of thinking.